How To Flirt With A Guy When You’re Working As Waitress
I witnessed an all too familiar scene at a bar recently: A patron thought a cute bartender was hitting on him just because the bartender was. I don't eat out much, but when I do I never tip waitresses. If I see a guy who looks like he has it tough i'll tip him. But if it's a girl, **** that, she. How To Pick Up A Waitress – Flirting With Women I get tons of emails from guys just like you asking if it is possible to flirt with a girl while she's at work. trying to buy her too small of a tip and you look cheap remember.
If your waitress is within close proximity, subtly touch her hand or shoulder while conveying a message. The idea is to attract your waitress — not make her uncomfortable.
Make Her Laugh Humor can take the stress and anxiety out of attempting to attract a waitress while simultaneously drawing her closer to you through your clever use of wit and flirtatious banter. Research a few jokes and memorize them to share with your waitress. As serving guests is often a stressful undertaking, you can delight her with laughter every time she comes to your table. Considering you were going to leave her a tip anyway, why not crank up your tipping percentage a few notches as a way to show appreciation for her service, time spent interacting with you and — of course — her beauty.
How to Flirt: Tips from Bartenders Who've Seen It All
A generous tip — coupled with thoughtful, intellectual and humorous conversation — is likely to attract your waitress to you.
If you typically leave a 15 to 18 percent tip for servers, consider leaving your waitress a 20, 25 or even 30 percent tip as an act of generosity. Why Do We Flirt? About the Author K. These servers are honestly just trying to be pleasant and pleasing to you.
Being gruff with them is probably just going to make them try harder to please, and encourage the kind of behavior that you don't like. Instead, I'd recommend being platonically friendly. I waitressed for a long time, and I usually ask things about how the restaurant is being run just because there's usually something I'm honestly curious about, and that usually ends up leading to a good rapport with the server.
So if there's something you're connecting to or wondering about on a professional level, that might make for a good little small-talk thing to ask about. Just way too uncomfortably intimate considering they're a stranger. If a server really does just end up doing that for the whole meal even if you're signalling how uncomfortable it's making you or even if you do try to make really neutral small-talk, just try to ignore it. It's not personal, and it's just them trying to do a good job the best way they know how.
So just try to limit your interactions and brush it off, in that case. For what it's worth, I never actually found that I got more tips if I flirted. Actually, I found that if I was flirtatious, guys would tend to act a lot more entitled and asshole-ish, and that doesn't result in especially good tips. But strangers who have to interact with us fall into stereotypical behaviors based on stereotypical ideas of what people are looking for.
Whether or not it's true, people believe that men like women to flirt with them and middle-aged women like to be told they look young. Chalk it up and move on. These poor people do not have time to find out what I want from them and it would be at least as bad for me to insist on being treated like a special snowflake than it is for the majority of people to respond positively to sexual innuendo from wait staff.
They're working hard and doing their best, or at least that's what we should assume unless otherwise informed. The waitresses will figure it out.
Everyone else has covered the flirting for tips things, so I just want to point out the reason this is your experience. Because flirting for tips in front of the girlfriend has the opposite effect on their tip, generally. Pissy girlfriends can force men to leave absolutely paltry tips or none at all.
I thought I was crazy but had suspected flirty behavior was encouraged by management probably men who think it'll result in more tips, and not the waitresses themselves.
Like you, I feel this kind of crosses the line for many reasons. Generally, I try to ignore the flirting by not engaging with it. If the behavior is persistent and prevalent, I'll simply stop giving my money to that restaurant.
Of course there's sometimes pretty funny encounters to be had with servers when they're trying to adhere to this behavior. When she realized she was barking up the wrong tree and the persistence was starting to annoy us bothshe didn't seem too embarrassed by it more of a 'oops, wrong tactic for these guys' thing - which supports the idea that management is dictating this behavior. Interestingly enough, for the rest of our meal, we were mostly tended to by a young, cute-naive male dishwasher?
Trying too hard is just as bad as not trying enough.
How do I get waitresses to stop pseudo-flirting with me? - awkward norms | Ask MetaFilter
We never went back. Vote with your money. Reward the restaurants with the best practices fair wages, no weird behavioral demands. Which cues even more awkwardness than the initial flailing attempt to pick up the thing. Reading it as an attempt to get someone to look down my shirt would be wrong. That you would impute this motive onto the waitstaff is just part of the wider framework you are reading these interactions within.
That twigs them to my needs, straight up. After that it's all tight smiles and one word answers. And then praise as I leave, if applicable. Think of it form their perspective: Management at a lot of places expects and encourages this kind of behavior. Some customers will stiff you or get shitty with you if they don't think you're being friendly or flirty enough, and then some customer gives you a hard time for doing the same things everybody else expects?
You're wrong no matter what you do! You can't win for losing! You need to be more subtle than that. Don't flirt back, respond only minimally to attempts at eye contact, maybe finch away a bit on purpose if a waitress tries to touch you. Otherwise, just be normally polite and leave a decent tip anyway. The thing is, if you're uncomfortable with this, you're probably already acting uncomfortable anyway.
I don't have to tell you to flinch away if you're already doing that involuntarily without thinking about it, and you probably already are. Establishments vary a lot in how much they expect or require this kind of behavior form their staff. If you have a choice, eat at places where you like the food and you feel comfortable.
If you live in a reasonably large city — and it doesn't need to be a really big one — you will be able find those places. If you get to be a regular customer somewhere, the people who wait on you there will probably notice that you're uncomfortable with them being flirty with you and do it less. The behavior you're describing also makes me uncomfortable. But I haven't personally run into it all that much. I think is this because I usually end up being a regular at places I like, and I tend to favor mom-and-pop restaurants that have good food and don't require their staff to be over-friendly or flirtatious with customers.
Random Enlightenment: Flirting With Servers
I'm a man and I haven't seen this behavior. I'm a big tipper regardless. Either way, if a server makes you uncomfortable, that should be reflected in the amount of your tip. As discussed, servers act this way in order to increase their tips, which is all fine and good. The customers who enjoy that kind of behaviour can continue to reward the servers for it, but there is no reason for you to.
This is the most direct way? Or instead, how about addressing the waitress directly and letting her know what kind of approach you'd prefer. Individual faculty still exists. Reading a table before you have spoken to the customer is hard, but if you engage curteously and professionally, they will reflect that back to you. I was a waitress while in school and I never did anything like that nor did I ever see any of the other waitresses flirt that overtly.
I mean bending over the table? That sounds really inappropriate. But in some locations it's not seen that way. A lot of waitresses, bartenders and hostesses in manhattan get hired strictly on their looks especially at these trendy type places. When I worked in two restaurants, the bartender with 15 years experience tending bar was always overlooked and given one shift a week, while they took a hot girl with a nice rack who applied for the hostess position and would ask her if she'd like to learn how to bartend instead.
Of coarse they always said yes since the money was much better. The fact that they didn't tend bar very well didn't matter as the customers liked to look at them. Since the restaurant makes it pretty clear in their actions that it's their sex appeal that got them the job, it's pretty easy to see why they would think their sex appeal is what will help them keep it and get more money with it. I waited tables back in the day, and reading the level of interaction customers wanted was the key to making good money.
I'm shocked though, that so many responses are to ignore unwelcome touch from a stranger.