The Narcissist and the Empath: A Toxic Attraction | PairedLife
In some relationships, you may play the narcissist, while in others, you play Often, the most empathic, intuitive, sensitive children grew up in. While people with narcissistic personality disorder have no empathy, and thrive The push and pull nature of the narcissistic relationship can. The narcissist, on the other hand, has no intention of developing a stronger At times, it may look like the narcissist wants the relationship as much as the . Previous article8 Clear Signs That Someone Is Jealous Of Your Life (And How To Handle It) 12 Extraordinary Characteristics Only Empathic People Possess.
What's going on with him? In short order, he will reveal his lifetime of abuse real or embellished along with a carefully-crafted commercial pitch showcasing how wonderful he is usually not real - and how wonderful she is, even though he just met her - and she will be effectively snared because she does not realize at first that the intense emotionality she is reading from him has nothing to do with her.
It is all for himself. It would seem unlikely that the Empath would fall for this considering that she is very in tune with others' emotions and their true selves.
Can't she see what he really is? The answer is yes, she can.
Most Empaths sense something "wrong" about the Narcissist very quickly, sometimes during the first conversation. But she can also see something else, and it overrides everything else: It's not an act on his part or a mistake on the Empath's part; the Narcissist really is fundamentally wounded and broken inside.
A large number of Narcissists are skilled at appearing helpless and lost.
That's because in many ways, they truly are. Her mistake is in thinking she can help him. This is the attraction. She wants to help him. It is her fatal blind spot, because the Narcissist cannot be helped and more importantly, he does not want help. Yet even when she can see this clearly, his wounds are clearer.
They are evident in everything he does, even in the horrible things. Especially in the horrible things.
The Why He is adept at making her believe she is the only one who can help him, or that she already has helped him. This is what she wants. It feeds her need to help, and no one is more convincing than the Narcissist when he is showering someone with praise or pushing their emotional buttons to get a response. She gives him the emotional sustenance he both wants and needs, allowing him to bask in the light of her care and attention all the time.
It is a dangerously codependent relationship which revolves around superficially fulfilling the needs of only one person who can be neither satisfied nor happy. The Narcissist is like a cup with a hole in the bottom: There is an important distinction to make here, however. We say "superficially fulfilling" because it is important to remember that the Empath's needs are being fulfilled, too, even if this does not seem to be the case.
She is usually the obvious injured party in the relationship but she is a willing injured party; she has locked herself in a situation where she can perpetually "help" someone who will always need her.
She has made a "career" out of taking care of a professional victim who does not want to get better. This may seem like victim-blaming to some, but it is only by recognizing this very thing that the Empath can empower herself to get away from the Narcissist for good: He only has the power over her that she is giving to him.
Lots of Narcissists are arrogant overachievers but most are crippled by their disorder in many ways, unable to function in the world normally in more than a very superficial way. The Empath sees an opportunity to take care of someone in perpetuity - and even if she doesn't want to, her caring nature can make her feel that she must.
What will he do without her? It doesn't seem fair to abandon him, regardless of how horrible he is because he is sick and the sickness is not his fault. It's true that the way his brain works is not his fault. Maybe no one loved him enough when he was a child. Maybe he was abused. Maybe none of it is really the Narcissist's fault. However, it is not hers, either. She does not need to be punished forever because of someone else's mistakes.
If she stays in the relationship with the Narcissist, she will be.
This is the Empath's nightmare: That is the problem with her logic, though: The Conclusion Since it is unrealistic to expect that the Narcissist possesses the insight to be able to recognize his problems, it is up to the Empath to recognize the situation and resolve it. The first and most important thing she must realize is that the only way to resolve the situation is to get out of it.
The narcissist, on the other hand, has no intention of developing a stronger connection and getting close to the empath. The empath is happy and satisfied every time they are around the narcissist and they falsely think that their love is being reciprocated.
The Narcissist and the Empath: A Toxic Attraction
The empath starts to feel like they have finally met the love of their life. The narcissist asserts them by designing an illusion which leads the empath to think that they have a special bond that is impossible to break. At times, it may look like the narcissist wants the relationship as much as the empath, but this is not true.
The narcissist only wants to be in control. The whole control of the relationship will be in the hands of the narcissist as they will start making every decision.
The empath will gradually start to believe that they are incapable of anything and that they are lucky to have the narcissist in their life. They will always try to help, take care of, cheer up and soothe the narcissist.
They will always be there for the narcissist whenever the narcissist needs them.Why the empath falls for the narcissist: The attachment and energy exchange system
The narcissist will try to present themselves as the victim thus manipulating the empath into giving them what they want since the empaths are natural givers. The relationship starts to be all about the narcissist.
22 Stages of Relationship Between An Empath and A Narcissist
Eventually, the empath will realize this, because as the time passes, they will start to feel afraid to state or fight for their desires and needs in the relationship. The empath will rather die than give someone a reason to dislike them, so they will still try to please the narcissist even though they are not happy in the relationship.
The more affection, devotion, effort, love, and care that the empath gives to the narcissist, the more in control the narcissist feels. And as long as the empath continues to put in the effort into the relationship, it is almost impossible for them to see a problem in the relationship. The empath will eventually raise their voice because they can no longer stand the devaluing ways of the narcissist.
The empath starts to feel devastated because their emotional needs are not being met. When the empath realizes that they have been living in a delusion all the time, they will start to speak up their truth. The narcissist is not happy with this new turn of events. The narcissist is someone who needs constant attention.
They feel satisfied when people obsess with them. However, they can never be happy no matter how much attention and praise they get from others.