The Surprising Thing About Dating an INTJ, as an INFJ – The Durk Web
What would such a relationship look like? Read on for a real life example I'm a female INFJ married to a male INTJ. We've been in a relationship for almost 9. If a relationship between an INFJ and INTJ starts to fall apart, the INTJ is likely to withdraw and remain silent about his or her feelings, even with. Anyone who's had a long relationship knows that, over time, you can run out of topics to talk about. But INFJs and INTJs always seem to have.
Now imagine a garden full of peacocks. Now imagine another peacock who has his feathers readily on show for all to see and thrives from being surrounded by all these humans in awe. This is how I see most extroverts and I honestly would not be able to cope.9 Reasons Why INTJ and INFJ Fall In Love
Partly because I find the most extroverts actually discourage me from coming out of my shell because of how present they are; I feel as though I do not have space to be myself because they are just so. What got my attention when I met my boyfriend was: I had not met someone who made me feel like I was looking into a mirror, but with a deeper voice, more confidence and self assurance.
I had not even considered his personality type or how compatible we may be because it all went very smoothly. From my own empirical evidence, we are very compatible, share similar values and we generally have the same approach to life. The INTJ boyfriend will be reading a book on one side of the room and I will be truly demolishing noobs on league of legends. I do not like big groups. He is a lot more social that I am and has different groups of friends the mind boggles. He gets this and has always gone out of his way to make sure I am not in a situation like that, or if I have to be, that I am not there longer than necessary.
When meeting his best friend, I am aware that he agave him a talking to to not freak me out. Turns out his bestie was an INFJ and we got on rather well!
We take turns talking and are both really good listeners. On this front, we get on like a house on fire. I do have to nudge him every now about communication because he sometimes seems to rely on me bringing things up before he lets it rip. Intuition-Intuition We enjoy discussing big ideas and solving the worlds troubles over dinner. We have similar views on the big things and occasionally disagree.
I appreciate the viewpoint he brings to the conversation as he is very rational and everything seems to be black and white to him sometimes, which boggles my righteous, overly humanitarian mind. We enjoy talking about the future. Him more so than me as I appear to be the risk averse one. I have attributed this to the ordinary fears of an INFJ when in any intense relationship.
We do seem to lack interest in everyday living.
I cannot say that I spend that much time obsessing over the ironing or the washing. Mind you, until earlier this year, my dear boyfriend had existed on this earth without owning an iron.
We are both young professionals and I suspect a large part of our desire to succeed in our careers is so that we can hire a few assistants in later life. Thinking-Feeling So this is where we start to diverge. Me and my boyfriend are both introverted intuitive types. However, we externalise our introverted intuitive perceptions differently. The primary difference comes down to Thinking vs Feeling. For the majority of the time, our temperaments are similar.
Everything can be packaged in his little Thinker head. He is one of the few people I know who can take criticism and make an action plan from it without taking offence. I call him Action Plan Man. He tackled the problem with military precision and would completely phase out for an hour a day whilst completing the mission.
He asked for my input throughout the whole process and he took all my feedback well and continued on his little mission. I cannot speak for him on this matter without tooting my own horn.
Sometimes I notice how straightforward with me he is and have to remember not to take offence because a large part of the internalisation is to do with INFJs being sensitive to all emotions. So when my thinker boyfriend says something bluntly without meaning anything ill at all, it always evokes a larger than expected reaction from me.
In this respect I do believe that this is where we are well balanced. Between us we are ablate gain a lot of different perspectives before making important decisions.
I do not like conflict and sometimes will go to great lengths to avoid this. It sometimes makes the situation more complicated than normal. We normally just laugh it off. There is a lot of affection in the relationship.
INFJ / INTJ relationship? : intj
In recreation, both enjoy that alone time and at the most with a close group of friends; both do not like big social gatherings or parties. If they have a common interest, introverts will enjoy those long, deep meaningful conversations they can have with one another.
Both are naturally good listeners; they will enjoy taking turns to share and asking questions to one another. Struggles Without a common interest, they may find it challenging to keep the conversation going.
In a short while, they may find they run out of things to talk about. Because both enjoy the silence so much, they may take communication for granted and not share their feelings with each other often enough. May lack a support network if both do not belong to a community because of their lack of desire to socialize.
Intuition-Intuition Joys Because both parties enjoy discussing big ideas, possibilities and global issues, they will usually find a certain attraction to each other. This is especially if they have similar viewpoints on certain issues, they will find chemistry with each other. Both tend to enjoy each other's uniqueness, not just in viewpoints but also in fashion, tastes and so on.
Because both parties enjoy talking about the future, their conversations will more often revolve around future hopes and dreams and exciting possibilities. Struggles However, they may lack interest in everyday living, hence if they are a married couple, household duties may tend to be neglected.
Even if they attempt to take care of household, they may still miss important details in its maintenance. The partner that has to be constantly responsible for the everyday maintenance may feel resentment or unfulfilled. A good balance can be achieved with proper delegation of duties or with the hiring of a domestic helper.
Thinking-Feeling Joys Thinker will be attracted to the Feeler's compassion and warmth toward Thinker and others, which Thinker may find lacking in self. Feeler is attracted to the objective, tough-minded Thinker who can take and give criticism without taking offense. The Thinker-Feeler partnership will provide all rounded perspectives, considering people, values and logical consequences when making important decisions.