Thriving Despite a Difficult Marriage - Christian Marriage Help and Advice
Looking for ways to build a strong marriage? another feel attractive. and we will see the time spent as an investment in the relationship that God gave us. This means that the marriage relationship is a model of God and Scripture calls us to a higher model which is God's original plan for the .. It is a marriage focused around God and developing the inward man to please God. Imagine being in a relationship where you love someone unconditionally and take care of How can you have a happy and lasting marriage? Bible Reading.
Daily devotional time helps us to grow together, in our faith, as a couple. Having a marriage of mutual trust will mean that you know your heart is safe with your spouse. We frequently talk about the ways that we know we can trust one another. We discuss other relationships that we see and the less trustworthy parts of them. Then we reflect on how our relationship is different.
Time for reflection also helps us to see if there are areas that we need to work on together to help each other feel a greater sense of trust. Learn how our marriage devotional Consecrated Conversations can help you build trust in your marriage!
Whether in the form of a weekend with friends or a night out with the guys, we work to make sure that each of us has some time to ourselves once or twice a month. We find that having some to think about who we are and how we impact our family helps us to be better able to give ourselves, fully, to our relationships. Both of us make a point of surprising each other every once in awhile.
Small surprises help us remind each other that we still care and are still interested in making the other happy. We both work at acknowledging each other and the roles that we play for our family. We are committed, however, to breaking that mold! Even many Christians struggle with this concept.
Is the man greater than the women? If not, then why must the woman submit to the man? Many are quite bothered by this. However, in considering the concept of authority in the home, it has nothing to do with equality. When God called these Christians to submit to the King and to masters in chapter 2, he was not teaching inequality. An employer and an employee are fully equal; however, in order for a company to function properly, there must be authority otherwise there is chaos.
In the same way, when God made the institution of marriage, he placed authority in the home in order that it would also function well. When we look at a society, where up to 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, we can have no doubt that marriages have lost their God-given design. The result of sin entering the world would be disorder in marriages. Look at what he says: We see this same word used of sin with Cain in Genesis 4: Sin resulted in the woman seeking to usurp the leadership of the man, and it also resulted in the man trying to dominate and control the woman.
We see these dynamics in many ways throughout society. In some cultures, especially fundamentalist Muslim ones, the wife is like property and the husband can divorce or beat his wife for any offense.
The husband controls and dominates the wife. In other cultures, the husband is docile in the home and the wife is the leader. Let us remember that in Genesis 1, when God made man in his image, he made them male and female. He made a plurality Gen 1: Evidence in the Trinity Paul makes the argument in 1 Corinthians 11 that women should wear a sign of submission and submit to their husbands by calling the women to look at the Trinity.
He says that the wife mirrors Christ and the man mirrors God. Look at what it says in 1 Corinthians When Paul is correcting the women in the church who were dishonoring their husbands by removing their head coverings, he says the head of man is Christ. In the home, the man should submit to Christ, and the woman should submit to her husband because he is the head of the wife. Finally, he says the head of Christ is God Do you see the analogy with the Godhead?
In the same way that the man is the head of the woman, God is the head of Christ. Christ is coequal with God, but Christ submits to the will of the Father. I only say what my Father says. Marriage reflects the Godhead. Now we certainly recognize that this is a hard doctrine.
He is a God of order, and so he created it in the home. Christ the Restorer Let us understand that Christ came to reestablish biblical manhood and biblical womanhood. When sin perverted the husband-and-wife relationship, the husbands became either domineering or passive and the wife either became manipulative or a doormat.
He demonstrates this clearly in his relationship with the church, who is his bride. Look at Ephesians 5: For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word.
When we see the gospel, we see what marriage should be. Instead of the husband being lethargic while Satan leads the wife into sin, he is active. He is so active that he gives his life for his wife. He serves her by washing her with the Word of God, teaching her Scripture, leading her in holiness.
He makes her beautiful. And the wife submits to him as the church should submit to Christ in everything, unless her submission would cause her to disobey God. When the world looks at the Christian marriage, they should see the gospel.
The wife submits to the husband as the church submits to Christ. The husband, instead of being lethargic or oppressive, he actively caters to the spiritual needs of his wife. When the Christian home operates like this, people see the beauty of the gospel. When the home is in disorder, it mars the gospel and it mars the image of God. It draws people away from God. When Eve sinned, Adam was supposed to be like Christ and die in her place. Where the first Adam failed, the second Adam, Christ, succeeds.
He shows us what biblical manhood is, as he dies for his bride, the church, and purifies her through the Word. Christ came to fix broken marriages and bring them back into the original order of the Godhead. Power of Submission Peter espouses the doctrine of submission as he calls the wife to submit to the husband.
Let us again hear the transformative power of this life of submission in the wife. It is so powerful it can transform the husband. Peter says a wife who is submissive does not even need words because she lives the gospel.
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Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives emphasis mine. This would have created great strife in the home and possibly oppression since the wife was considered almost like property.
This would have made the marriage very tough and sometimes abusive. Often in marriages like this, where the husband is an unbeliever, the woman, with right intentions, would seek zealously to win the husband to Christ.
She does this by preaching at him, sometimes condemning his life of sin. Peter calls the woman to not do this.
But all of a sudden, Christ came in, and there was this great submission. It would radically speak to the husband and potentially save his life. He would see the purity and the reverence of her life, and it lead to transformation. In fact, we have seen this throughout history. Listen to a few of these stories of the power of a submissive life. Here is a story of a Hindu woman who was converted. A Hindu woman was converted, chiefly by hearing the Word of God read. She suffered very much persecution from her husband.
I try, sir, to show him that when I became a Christian, I became a better wife and a better mother.
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This man was a heavy drinker, spending late nights in the tavern. She would send the servants to bed, stay up till he returned, receive him kindly, and never scold him or complain. At times she would even have to undress him and put him to bed.
Sure enough, she came to the door, received them courteously, and willingly agreed to make supper for them without the slightest trace of resentment. After serving them, she went off to her room. As soon as she had left, one of the men began to condemn the husband. Another did the same and another till they had all departed without eating the meal.
Within a half hour, the husband became deeply convicted of his wickedness, and especially of his heartless treatment of his wife. From that time on, he became a devoted disciple of the Lord Jesus. Won without a word! Perhaps very shortly the Lord may give you the desire of your heart, and answer your prayer for them.
But in the meantime, seek to commend the truth, not by reproaching them on account of their behavior toward you, but by manifesting toward them the meekness, gentleness and kindness of the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a truth for those who are married, period. The most traveled path in a marriage to changing a husband or changing a wife is arguing and nagging, but Peter says this is largely ineffective.
Oftentimes, this pushes the other person farther away, instead of closer to what God desires. Peter says it is the power of a submissive life with purity—meaning no sin—and reverence—which is respect and honor—that has the ability to change a life. This is something that husbands and wives need to get a hold of.
Yes, let us speak, but more than that, let our actions speak that our wives may be won and our husbands as well. This should change many marriages that are largely dominated by arguing with one another.
A submissive life is free of sin and sinful responses; it is a life of reverence and respect that transforms. This life of submission is transformative because it was the life of Christ.
Peter has already been arguing that this practice of submission among the authorities of the world could save lives and make them glorify God on the day of visitation 1 Pet 2: Scripture speaks very clearly against that. In Nehemiah, Nehemiah starts to pull the hair out of the men that had married unbelievers Neh Paul says very clearly in 2 Corinthians 6: This does not refer primarily to marriage but to every intimate relationship.
Intimate relationships are yoking relationships; they pull us in a certain direction. He says the Christian who does not separate from worldy relationships will give up intimacy with God and ultimately bring discipline on their lives v. When I talk to young Christians in church or on college campuses, it seems they are largely unaware of this truth.
It is like they have never read the tragic story and warnings in the Bible about courting or marrying unbelievers. It essentially led to the death of Samson and the discipline of Israel on several occasions. What are your thoughts and feelings about the submission of the wife to her husband? How do you see this being attacked and lost in society? In a Godly Marriage, the Wife Is Focused on the Internal and Not the External Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.
The woman might be tempted to believe that it was all about her beauty and her outward appearance. But Peter teaches that beauty is not the primary way to honor your husband. Now it should be noted that Peter is not saying that women should not wear jewelry or fine clothes. He is actually speaking about being consumed with it. No, that is why the interpreters added fine clothes.
He was talking about obsession with the external. We live in a world where the woman is tempted to often be consumed with outward adorning and her physical beauty. The world system perpetuates this. God hates this focus on the external because it does not reflect the image of God.
We see this in the story of the choosing of David to be king. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man is consumed with the outward appearance, but I am consumed with the heart. You were made to look like God, to think like him.
There is not one child of God who is not beautiful to him. Beauty is a work of the heart. This would rid a lot of people of their insecurities and their pride. It would close the door on the lies that Satan speaks to so many. You must be lighter, darker, tanner, skinnier, have these kind of eyes, this kind of nose. It is a lie. Let your focus be the inward man and not the outer man. In fact, let us see how much God hates this continual focus on the outward by how he curses the women of Israel in Isaiah 3.
He says this external focus all comes from pride. Instead of fragrance there will be a stench; instead of a sash, a rope; instead of well—dressed hair, baldness; instead of fine clothing, sackcloth; instead of beauty, branding emphasis mine. This is a form of pride which God hates. When a person is all about their outward appearance: Because of this pride, God judged the women of Israel.
Sad to say, many of the women in the church have become like this as well. Their focus is their bodies and their appearance, instead of the inward man. They spend more time every day on their outward man—their makeup, their clothes, their hair—instead of working on their inward man.
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This shows their idolatry. They run around seeking plastic surgeries because of being consumed with their outside adornment. Instead of being transformed by the Word of God. They are being conformed and pressed into the mold of the world Romans Wealthy women would often wear their hair up high with tons of jewels wrapped in it.
Today, many marriages are also consumed with signs of wealth. They want to show their wealth by having the most expensive car, the most luxurious TV sets and the nicest homes. Like the world, they are consumed with the external, and they want everybody to see and know what they have.
A godly marriage is not like this. It is a marriage focused around God and developing the inward man to please God. Peter says a godly wife is not like this. She clothes herself like ancient godly women as seen in Sarah, who called her husband, Abraham, master.
He focuses on two particular attitudes of a godly wife: How should these be demonstrated not only in the life of the woman but the life of the man? It was used of a wild horse that had been broken and now was tamed. Instead of blowing up over issues, she is calculative. She bears up under hardship and is gentle in her responses. She is Christ-like, who was also described as gentle and meek in spirit Matt She is also quiet.
This also looks back at the temptation of the woman to change her husband by her incessant words and probably complaints 1 Pet 3: She instead restrains her words.Powerful prayers for Marriage, relationships and for God to let you meet the correct person to marry
Solomon describes a person who restrains his words as wise. Listen to what he says in Proverbs She is gentle and meek--in control of her emotions and especially her anger. She is reserved in the use of her words. This demonstrates her wisdom. But let us hear these are traits to be practiced not only by the woman but to be practiced by the husband as well.
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He is meek, in control of his emotions and his anger, and practices restraint with his words. The Christian home is not superficial, concerned with the outward appearance. They are not consumed with the external appearance in their clothes, makeup, or skin.
The secular home is consumed with these things, but not the godly home. Let it be known that this focus on the outward appearance is a major struggle for many families including Christian ones. The number one reason for divorce is finances. But not the godly home. The godly home is totally consumed with the inside.
In fact, they choose not to store up riches because it protects their heart Matt 6: The godly home protects their heart from worshiping things of this world by not storing up the wealth of this world because it has a tendency to steal their heart and crowd out the Word of God as Christ taught Matt If their treasure is clothes, cars, phones, electronics, etc.
The godly home is all about the inside. How can she protect herself from being conformed into the value system of the world? How can Christians marriages protect themselves from this shallow focus on the external? In a Godly Marriage, the Husband Knows His Wife Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Many have wondered if Peter gave so much attention to the woman because the majority of people in these churches were actually women. It is true that women have typically been the most spiritual partners in marriages.